Marriage detiorating past 3 years with no hopes. I do not want to be first to ask for divorce. Pls advice.?

Marriage went well for almost 25 years before things changed. Husband complains lack of communication with wife. Wife now can do nothing right in his eyes. Enquiries revealhusband has a new love relationship. No marital/conjugal relationships for past 5 years. Wife knows he is having relationships and wife too has just started a new love. Dilemma now is children and sentiments. In reality, better to be divorced so both can live happily but who takes the first move??? Wife curious.Marriage detiorating past 3 years with no hopes. I do not want to be first to ask for divorce. Pls advice.?
ask a lawyer for the right and legal answer.Marriage detiorating past 3 years with no hopes. I do not want to be first to ask for divorce. Pls advice.?
call you friendly attorney
The smartest one.





Sounds like it's past over. The smart person will file for divorce first.
definitely a divorse. u both deserve to be happy
OlaJ - life is too short to be unhappy. Your children are old enough that they will deal with it - besides, they would rather have each of you be happy apart than miserable together. I went through the same - it's tough to make the first step, but the end result has been positive. Good luck!
I am sorry about this sweetie, but you have got to be the one to make the first move. If he has moved on in his heart, and so have you, then you owe it to both of you to set eachother free to pursue whatever makes you happy. I gotta figure that if you were married for 30 years (you did say it was 25 years before problems started and 5 years since you had sex), then your kids aren't toddlers, and they will get over it. I would much prefer that my parents be divorced and happy, than together and miserable. And as far as sentiments... not really sure what you mean by that but, who cares? Who gives a damn what anybody thinks of you for wanting a divorce, they aren't in your relationship, and if your husband does not want it to work (and you should ask him if there is any way counsuling or therapy could save your marriage because you were married for 25 years before things got bad) then there is nothing that you can do and you owe it to yourself to move on and find somthing that will make you happy. I am sorry that this is happening to you sweetie, but there is sombody out there who will love and cherish you for who you are, and it may be your husband, but you guys need to talk and see if your marriage can be saved. But if it can't then I beg you don't stay where you are not happy. Move on. Good luck my dear, and I hope this helps.
If the marriage went well for 25 years it's worth saving! You made vows to your spouse and to God; don't break them without long serious thought!! Get into counseling to figure out what's going wrong with your relationship. If you don't the problems will repeat in every relationship you have. The affairs aren't the cause of the deterioration - they're the result. Perhaps some sexual therapy would help in the future. A marriage without sex, unless both partners have agreed to this, is not a marriage in the whole sense of the word. You promised to love until death parts you. Get into counseling to find out how you can keep your promise. Also, read books on marriage by good Christian authors - many are available (as is some good advice) on newlife.com. Good luck and God bless.
Is there anyway that you both could work at it for the children sakes, before you go through the divorce. Like get some conseling. Because the children are going to hurt tremendously.
YOU should, being that you should put your happiness above anyone elses... if you have been married for 25 years then your children should be able to adapt to the change... they are old enough to know that sometimes things just dont last forever... and him being with a person for 5 years is just a little too much for me to swallow... a one night stand yes but he is truly moving on... with someone else and you should do the same also... two wrongs dont make a right...
Wife should file because as hard as it will be in the short term the better it will be once the healing starts. My own parents were miserable for years but stayed married ';for the family';. Once I left home (I'm the youngest) the announced they were getting divorced. Everyone by then was saying ';What took you guys so long to finally move towards happiness?';
If you do not want to be with him Why holding on to nothing just tell him
Dump the guy. If he doesn't like you for who you are, he is a waste of your time.
I think that the two are just afraid to divorce. But how can they stay in a relationship if they don't love each other. Why put themselves in that kind of dilema. You can always have a mutual agreement that the marriage is dead and that they both need to move on. Have the arrangments already made out before you go to lawyers. It will make it easier and in the long run, you will both be more happy to end what is already dead. Ask for the divorce.
One time he cheats, maybe a mistake, but continueous? Call your attorney and file ASAP. It way past time. Good Luck!
you can make the first move or else you'll be miserable the whole time waiting for him to initiate, maybe he is waiting for you
You both in these 25 years have forgotten to communicate your feelings with each other , In the hectic schedules u hv not shared ur thoughts with each other %26amp; u both started drifting from each other . I would suggest you to not to think abt divorce but rather bring back that energy u both shared in the initial years of ur marriage . Communication %26amp; understanding is the key .
If you don't love them then break it to them but if you think there's hope then go to something like couples counceling! it might work.