I'm 20.... my fiance and I have been engaged for 9 months. He has 14 nieces and nephews and I have 1 niece and 1 nephew. I am CRAZY about kids; babies, toddlers, young adolesents, teens. I love them!! I want to have a baby soo bad. My fiance and I find no greater joy than spending time with babies... and imagining having our own is such a great joy!! Only problem is we're not getting married until June and I'm going crazy! I would give anything to be a stay at home mom and take care of my baby all day!! I would love it!!
Advice on waiting.... just doing it.... what!?!?!ADVICE!!!! I want to be pregnant so bad... but not married yet!!?
Calm down and wait. Your very young for even marriage. Your not even old enough to drink yet. Being around nieces and nephews is nothing like having and raising your own children. You are engaged and your focus should be on you and your fiance. You are fast forwarding to children. Live life along the way in a normal progression so you don't feel like you lost something along the way. The thrill of being a parent will quickly fade if your marriage doesn't last and you are no longer a stay at home mom with no college or work skills because you started a family with someone who left you because he was young and rushing through life and now regrets it. I'm not wishing this on you but it's statistically accurate and you don't want to be in that group. I would get married and wait a few years at least.
OK. I just read your update question and I guess the college reference is directed toward me(maybe other postings too?).Listen my young friend I'm glad you are currently financially stable and in love. I wish the best for you and everyone else. The financial situation not being a factor I still would wait. Your trying to live too fast and have everything right now. Things will probably work out for you but for 50% of people it doesn't. Everyone thinks they will be in the successful 50%. Do the things that will help you succeed and reduce the odds against you. You are very young. Do you think 22 is too old to have a child? I am not a young 20 something girl wanting to be married and have children but I am a father of 2 daughters in their early 20's. One is happy one is not. I'm qualified to have an opinion on this question.ADVICE!!!! I want to be pregnant so bad... but not married yet!!?
I have a 5 month old daughter and I am not married, not wanting to get married and probably never will! It's not that I dont believe in marriage, but its just not for me, I am still a single mother and damn proud of it! You don't have to be married to be a mother or a family! I mean dont get me wrong congrats on your soon to be wedding date, but this isnt the olden days, some people will look down on you and say that your child is the B*ST***D but who cares what they think! It is your, your child and your fiancees happiness that matters!! Everyone has a differant view on the married or single mother thing, some people say wait and others say go for it, you need to tust your gut instinct, if you feel that you are ready to be a mother, go for it! Some people say that being a un-wed mother makes you not ready for it, so not true. It is differant for everyone! I was completly ready for it! I had my babies father with me the whole time, none of my family looked down on me for it, and now that my daughter is here I wouldnt change it for anything in the world, now on the other hand, my sister is a unwed mother and she wasnt ready for it, she always felt like ';woo her, I have no one to help me with this,'; So its just going to have to be your and your fiancees choice! Everyones views are differant! Good luck with whatever you decide to do! Hope you have the best in life!
the final decision is up to you and your fiance. i am 20. me and my fiance have been together almost 5 years and engaged for 1 year and we have been living together for the last 3 1/2 years. we have one beautiful son together. i do not regret any decisions that i have made. we own our own house and i do not have to work. so if u feel as though you and your fiance are stable and really want to have a baby before your married, then i say go for it and try not to let anyone interfer with your decision. as long you and your fiance are happy and y'all know can give a baby the best life ever than go ahead and do what feels right to you. good luck.
Okay I just answered your follow up question to this one.. And I stil stand by what I said there.. BUT now I understand WHY you were needing advice..... SO HERE IT GOES%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;Honey I would wait until you are married... KIDS ARE GREAT%26gt;%26gt; I love my little girl... BUT IN MY OPINION you also need some time just being a couple.. AND if you want to have kids right after you get married. GREAT%26gt;%26gt; but Why not wait atleast until AFTER THE WEDDING%26gt;. and from now until June can be just You and your Future Hubby's time.. ONCE you have a child, It will not be just the two of you for ATLEAST 18 years.. SO really really think hard about this..
June is NOT that far away
Well anyway, Again Good luck to you and Really think about what a big step both Marriage and being a parent is before you jump into both all at once.. AND ignore all of the people that are being hateful.. God bless
Well hon, if you get pregnant now, and you plan on getting married in June, you will be having your baby around that time. So you can either get married now and not have to worry about the baby coming, or go with your plans and wait until your honeymoon night. You want to be able to fit in your dress, and if you get pregnant now, then you will have to do several alterations because the second and last trimester is when your tummy starts growing a lot. Babies are wonderful! My husband and I have a son who will be three years old this month. We're trying for another baby! :-) May be you can babysit babies until you get married. That will help you to learn more about them. Or you can become a volunteer in a hospital nursery to help feed and diaper the babies. :-) You would be great at that since you love babies and seem like a very loving/caring/ and patient person. This way it will kind of quench your craving for now, and then after you get married, you can begin trying to conceive.
Just a thought. :-) Congratulations on your engagement! :-)
oh great..another child born out of wedlock
Try to move up the wedding.
Wait. Maybe not exactly what you want to hear, but it's the best decision. Think about it. Someone ticks you off. If you react just then, the situation doesn't go so smooth. If you wait, cool off, think about things, you can fix the situation easily, and maybe salvage a friendship?
A child needs stability. In every decision you make, you need to be sure it's the right time for it. I know these days people are having children out of wedlock, but kids still think about ';wow I'm a bastard';...that sort of thing. That's something else you have to think about.
Get married, get your home all set up, then go at it when you know everything is just right for a child to enter your lives. A child takes a lot of work, and if you love children as you say, you'll not want to be busy with wedding plans, honey moon plans, moving or w/e you'll be doing afterwards, shopping around like a chicken with your head cut off for baby items because you've been to preoccupied, etc. etc. It's a busy time, and a child needs peace and stability.
Wait.
Do you live with your fiance? That makes a difference. I wouldn't have a baby with anyone I hadn't lived with for at least 2 years. You don't really know each other until you've lived together and it takes time to find out all of those opinions you each hold that you take so much for granted that you don't discuss them. Have you had your deep and meaningfuls about pregnancy, labour and child rearing? Have you come to agreement on pretty much everything? If so, and your fella is ready for a baby too, then go for it! You will probably enjoy your wedding and honeymoon more if you aren't pregnant though. You don't know how good or bad a pregnancy will be until it's happening. You could try for a wedding night conception. My aunt did, which we all thought was rather romantic :) I'm not married, by the way, but lived with my hubby for 4 years before we concieved. Our daughter is 6 months old now! Sometimes being a stay at home mum is wonderful, other times it isn't. It's a job, but a job you care about more than any other job you've ever had.
If you have health ins. and they cover pregnancy, you have money put aside just for baby and pregnancy then you are ready. Well, most people don't even have that. You are ahead of a lot of 20 year olds though because you really want one.
You have a date and you're getting married for sure, but realize if you get pregnant right now you'll be a big pregnant bride lol. If that's okay with you, go for it. Or just get married now, in a quick ceremony! Why wait if you are so eager?
Just wait.
You're cute for being so excited, I'm sure you'll be a great mom- but just wait. It's hard enough when you're married! Babies change your life COMEPLETELY! It's not just something people say, it's true. When you are SURE you're ready, after you're married, go ahead. But not before then.
HTH
What is the rush???? I got married first enjoyed been married for 1 year we started trying it took fourteen months (we didn't rush ourselves) and wouldn't change it for the world. Everyone is different though circustances, money etc etc. Like alot of your answers have said been a mummy changes everything!! Playing with other peolpes kids that you get to hand back at the end of the day is not a comparsion, not by a long shot. When you are the one responsible it is a tad different.
Don't get me wrong been a parent is great (when the time is right), but you are very young and need to live a little and enjoy your life. Find happiness in your life with your husband to be first; have a bit of a life to look back on that you just had with your husband just the two of you that will make becomming and been a parent even more special and you will know your relationship will be solid enough to rasie your children. Good luck I hope this helps!
If you want on and you both agree on it then why not just go ahead and do it. I am not techincally married and we are working on out second. It is better for us that we aren't married. I even get insurance this way. So I would suggest you talk to you fiance about it and go from there. Sometimes it is easier to have a baby while you are not married and sometimes it is not. Gotta make sure he is going to be there and be a good daddy. Which it sounds like he is going to do. Good Luck with your decision
That's a decision that is between you and your fiance, but I wouldn't do anything without talking it over very carefully first.
Waiting has it's advantages-you can be more prepared emotionally and financially for your baby, and you'll have time to plan for how you want to raise them. You also have time to devote all of your energy into the relationship between you and your fiance-which you will never have again after you have children.
Obviously though, having children has many benefits-and if you both feel you are ready then go for it. Just make sure you and your fiance have the same ideas and priorities about having and raising children.
just go for it
my mom had one child and was pregnent with her secound b4 she got married and everything worked out great
Don't rush into things too much. Your still young and plus...getting married and all. It's a good idea and choice you getting married, but do you want to have a baby in your arms on your wedding day, etc.? I love babies myself, but you better think hard on this one. Babies aren't cheap. Have a job, before you think about a baby. It's good that you all have lot's of family members...babies, youngsters, toddlers, and etc. But, think about this first. The baby thing can come along later on. Your young, live your life and your fiance'.
That's fabulous you guys love babies! Me %26amp; my fiance do too! We don't plan on getting married until May 16, 2009. My fiance and I ADORE kids to death too.. but we think that it's best for us to try and wait and live the married life for at least a year together. Idk.. I mean it's really up to you guys! I think it would be wonderful to have a kid right now.. but I think it would be neat to be able to experience the married life with your man for awhile without having a baby right soon after you get married. That's all up to you! Babies are so precious/adorable... but with me I'm going to try and wait a year after I experience the married life before I try and conceive. If you guys love babies and want one really bad I say go for it.. you two are going to be getting married. I know people that got pregnant while they're engaged. I wish you guys the best of luck!!
Wait. Do you really want to look like a beach ball is under your dress at your wedding? You should wait. I was 21 when I got married and now looking back on it I should have waited. Personally, I'm not letting my kids get married and have a family until they have a bachelor's degree. Then I know they won't struggle the way I have. the older you get the more patience, wisdom and money you have.
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