Wednesday, July 28, 2010

What would your advice be?

i have a man he works while i stay home with the baby. i understand he is tired but i do everything i cook, clean and wash everything. i give him massages and cut his hair and shave his beard. I run his bathwater cut his toe and finger nails. i wash his dirty A$$ draws in the sink if we dont have money to wash clothes . When I want something little he wont do like get me a drink when i try to relax. he is not cheating or anything he is just lazy and he wont massage me like i want. and i find myself the one asking for XXX all the time. its like Hello taking care of the baby is actually not as easy as He thinks. when he gets paid yea he buys me all these things and takes me out nice places but thats not what im looking for i want someone to cater to my every need. PLEASE TELL ME WHATS WRONG!!!!!!What would your advice be?
Well my mom always said a relationship we always be how it started, if you always catering to his needs how can he cater to yours, in a way you have created a monster. You are doing the things you are suppose to do as a wife (hope you are married to him if not that is whole other story) any woo, but a man will only do what you allow him to. I don鈥檛 know how long you to have been together or how many children you two have, but it will be very difficult to change him over night if this is what he is use to doing or getting. You asked the question what is wrong. You spoiled him and now you have to break him. I would love to talk more, but it is a lot to type on here email me and I can give you more advice if you want.What would your advice be?
It is about habits and patterns and giving. He will take whatever you are willing to give. And you are giving too much. He is not willing to give and you can't make him. He has to want to change. All you can do is:


1. Not give some much.


2. Tell him how you feel.





Tell him how you feel in an environment where there is no anger. Talk about how ';you'; feel and not about what he will or won't do.





Decide what ';gifts'; you feel like giving and which are ';over the top';. I think washing out clothes so he can work is good. Cutting toe and finger nails is way over the top.





And NO ONE should cater to someone else... except once in a while as a ';gift';.
Stop being a slave for him then! Why should you do all these extra stuff for him, he's not a BABY. You spoil him too much and it's ridiculous! Do nothing more than to cook and clean the house.
I don't think there is anything truely wrong. It sounds to me like you both have gotten comforatable in the pattern of life, maybe him more than you. If you really think there is a problem, talk to him about it. He may just need to hear it at a good time so he can think about the way the relationship is going.

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