I need your advice I really need some help don't know what to do what would be best for my little girl?

Her mother and I are curently going through a court battle in regards to her residence. I asked what contact I can have with my daughter until then but on all the dates I have proposed she has said she is working. But she said she only works every 2nd Sat so I can see her this Sat but then in the same letter she said she is working every weekend until Sat 7th July (as you can see this is not every 2nd Sat) But then she went on to say if I drop going for residence then I can have her for half the holidays and staying contact every fortnight comencing this weekend. Should I give up on residence and take the contact or should I stick to my initial intentions.I need your advice I really need some help don't know what to do what would be best for my little girl?
Whatever you feel to be best for your daughter...However,do it through the court so that she cannot keep changing the rules,which she may well do if something upsets her....I need your advice I really need some help don't know what to do what would be best for my little girl?
Wait a minute, your screen name is Deborah A. You are fighting for custody of a 3 year old with your EX WIFE? Was it a lesbian marriage? I am so lost. '; Now the child is calling another man daddy. '; Way lost.
I gave up the fight, I believed what I was told. Silly me trusted there dad would stick to his word. I spent 7years with out my children. I have returned letters and memories of them telling me to f off. Stick to your guns.
Go for what is best for your daughter - your feelings and your wife's feeling do not count in this instance - your daughter is paramount.


I am not saying this lightly - sounds like wife is using her against you.
Continue fighting for residence. Your daughters Mother will continue playing these vicious games. Just by doing what she is doing now by denying visitation with your daughter is proof enough that she is not a good mother. It may be hard right now but think of how much harder it will be when she holds all the cards. Fight for your little girl you are what is best for her.
Hi,


I would stick to your initial intentions, because there is nothing stopping her changing her mind, when it suits her!.


At least with the courts, a decision will be met, and you both will have to stick to it!.


So keep going, don't let her bully you into changing your mind, good luck.
If your reasons for residencial custody are legit then stick to your guns. But remember to handle this situation in the best interest of your daughter and not out of spite for each other for the problems that led to this situation. Always be friendly and compromise with every situation, she will come around and before you know it, you will have this situation worked out totally different then the court orders.....Just always be friendly and walk away when the situation is not.
I dont belive in trying to take a child off the mother unless there is a good reason as in drugs or abuse doing it to get back at someone is wrong.I think you should have the right to see your daughter and she shouldnt be putting barriers up if you two cant come to an agreement together get a mediator you could drop the residence order to keep the peace but go to court and get access sorted .You both need to realise that its whats best for the child at the end of the day and there is no point trying to get back at each other you need to talk to your ex and sort it out because your just going to end up hurting your daughter .Your trying to take your daughter away from the mother which i think would do more harm than good to the child im sure you could be civilised with your ex for the sake of your child.
Try explaining this to her mother, say how you feel, try not to gety heated or too upset as it may result in her shutting down and things becomming more difficult. It could be she is really buisy and isnt thinking straight or it could be more sinister than that- that shes trying to deter you from seeing your daughter, its hard to say from whats happening and what you have described, maybe ask her what her motives are? (in a quizative way a oppose to iterally shouting at her ';what is the meaning of this...';





My guess is shes written to you so try responding to her in the same way, by letter, photocopy and keep the original with everything you do. Give her a few days to respond and if she doesnt then your left with not much choice if you want to see your child.





I hate to say it as they are pricey but this is what lawyers are there for, they do cost but atleast you know things that do happen will near enough be written in stone and contradicotry letters are likely to be a thing of the past as a lawyer will be writing a letter and not her.





I know you have the childs interests at heart, but please try to keep calm and just be there (if you do get the opportunity) for your daughter, as a product of a divorced relationship, I can say for me the negative effects of divorce are the arguements before the divorce (which apparently were much about me and my sister- though with no thanks from either me or my sister!) and are the parts where the child feels very uneasy and worried and their entire world is changing and all they can see is one or the other parent whom they depend on will not be around as much- if atall, and this means they loose a big part of their live that they have always had there. Its abit like having a docor tell you, you will loose both your legs or both your arms or soimething, and that there is no wheel chair or crutches or whatever, you just have to go with it. Arguing over it worsens the build up which makes it all the more painful for everyone involved.





You do sound like you have her best interests at heart and I'm sure my parents did too. But I also think they let their pride rule thier decisions and the ';sticking together for the children'; which they also did for 8 years also doesnt work!





I hope it works out for you I really do, I can appreciate its hard for fathers, but if its any help, my dad won custody of both me and my sister (my mum didnt have enough money to house us both and my dad said he wouldnt pay for my violin lessons if he didnt get custody.) my dad was very manipulative though so I dont recommend doing this. Its resulted in me hating him and my sister feeling sorry for him. It seems the truth will out in the end as I'm not the first to have experienced a situation like this I'm sure!





You will always be a part of your daughters life and please dont forget this!