Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Advice Please!! Will I become another baby momma? I don't want to be #3?

I have been dating this man for about 5 months now. We have a wonderful relationship and things are good right now, but as the relationship goes on and the past comes out i am starting to feel like there is a trend in this mans life and I am to the point where I love him but i have to love myself more and I want to know am i setting myself up for failure or is it possible for him to change? I noticed he had a tattoo on his chest with two little boys and a woman, and i asked him about it he told me that it was his two sons and his baby momma,at the time we were new in the relationship, and i knew that if it got serious i would have to deal with it, but at the time i was only looking for someone to ';enjoy'; nothing serious so it didn't really bother me. So we continue to date and after a while i find out that I am pregnant. We, even though it wasn't planned are excited and prepare for a family. Yesterday he tells me has a daughter by another woman! Is it worth it??Advice Please!! Will I become another baby momma? I don't want to be #3?
Probably not. But what choice do you have at this point. Other than stay dependant so you won't have to depend on him. Every child has a right to know their father. Unless it endangers the child's life in any way. See how things pan out, but be prepared for anything to happen, or not.Advice Please!! Will I become another baby momma? I don't want to be #3?
Thank you all for your response and advice. Its hard to fit the whole scenario into 300 words, but i wanted to give you a little more to work with. He did tell me in the beginning that he had 2 children.

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They were with the same woman but it didn't work out because she cheated on him, and although he is there for his kids he couldn't trust her so they are no longer together. he didn't tell me about his daughter until this weekend which is 5 months into the relationship

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and after we have started to build a family together. Given 5 months is a short time but under the circumstances we have both been through a lot in our lives and are tired of games and are ready to build and settle down.

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I have a past of my own just as he does although mine did not produce children, so i never wanted to judge him. But I don't want to play the fool, and he is not the type that doesn't want to commit.

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He wants to get married, although its not what i want in my life right now. I am in no rush, and i don't want to get married just because of a child, because the mother and father role doesn't change regardless of if we are married.

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I want to marry a man that I love and who i know will be there for the rest of my life and I haven鈥檛 know him long enough to trust him with that task so soon.

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But is it right for me to judge him based on past behaviors? Could he not have grown and learned from his mistakes? Or is it not worth trying to find out?

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Didn't I see you on Jerry Springer? Or was it Maury?
havent' you ever heard of birth control? there are SO many choices these days...btw, it's not worth it. he's a loser.
Pregnant after together only 5 mo together? Yeah, you'll likely be a baby momma, another tattoo, another support enforcement order.
Well, seeing as how you are pregnant, the whole ';Will I become'; is a little late. Yes, you will be another baby's momma...





Now, does that mean you have no future? Not necesarily. Were you planning on getting married? After 5 months, it's probably a little soon. Was he married to these other women, or is he a non marraige type, or just didn't want to get married because of kids? There are a lot of variables out there.





Right now, you might be more emotional that you would normally be, and thinking about things a bit differently because those mothering instincts are kicking in. You are going to have a baby, and this guy is the fater. These are facts you can't change. I would just see where things go from here. You don't know what the future holds for either of you.





Good luck, and congrats on the baby!
Put your child first, but do what is best for the both of you. I personally would move on.
what do you mean is it worth it? The baby? You dont really have a choice now, first off this MAN has way too much baggage, you should have reconized this in the first place. Hopefully he mans up and takes care of you and ALL of his babys. good luck and congrats.
its a little late now your already pregnant so weather you want to be or not you are going to be ';another baby mama'; how well does he care for his children if you been with him for 5 months and didnt know he had a daughter??? why was he hiding her??
Sheesh girl, he has too much baggage, does he support his children? I would think the situation over really good. If it was me, I would move on.

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